Part Two: Just Keep Swimming

There is a film that redefined cinema for a generation.  A movie that raised the bar for the art form.  A motion picture that turns the mirror on our lives and reflects truth back to us.

That film is Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

OK, maybe it's not all of that, but it does come close to cracking my top ten.

Take a look at this clip, where, after just having his prized bicycle stolen from him, Pee Wee is trying to adjust to life without it, deal with its loss, and search desperately for the bike:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4-2NckEAGI]

This perfectly represents what the rest of this afternoon, and sometimes days at a stretch feel like.  Lunch at Chipotle and we see new parents with a baby in a carrier.   A trip to Borders for the new Scott Pilgrim comic and there's babies in strollers, more carriers, crying babies, babies in slings, and my personal favorite, toddlers and children with baby dolls.  And, oh look, coming soon to DVD: Babies!

Don't get me wrong.   I'm not hurt by other people's joy and blessings or jealous of others' familes, at least not anymore.   It's just that after trying so hard, after so many tests and no conclusive actions, and still more tests to come, it just feels sometimes like that yearning for a baby is this huge, empty vacancy.   And everywhere we look are lucky people who get to enjoy something that we are looking at from a distance.   Something we got to taste, but have to find again.

My wife and I discuss our discouragement over lunch.  We feel like we're not making any real progress.   We question whether or not all this is something we should even be doing.  Things really start to fall into place for me. I once listened to a sermon podcast where the pastor said that God always answers prayer.  He says either "Yes, No or Later."   The scriptures he was preaching from was the beginning of Luke: the account of Zachariah and Elizabeth, ironically enough.   The pastor then asks his audience to examine their prayer life for anything they had ceased praying.

Now, I'm not comparing us to that couple.   When it comes to us praying about having a child, I've always gotten a very clear feeling that it's in the "Later" column.   I don't know how or when or by what means, but I feel strongly that it's a "Later" issue.  We are just supposed to hang loose. When we are blessed with a child, there will be no other possible way to tell the story without pointing directly to the glory of the Father.  This child will not be here because of us, prescriptions, procedures, tests, or doctors.   It will be our testimony of the power and glory of God.

I've got an appointment to make.   And Steve and his buddies need swimming lessons. Maybe Dory can help.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA]